Tag Archives: Life

Is Your ‘Right’ A Wrong In Disguise?

3 Feb

I’ve written so many blog posts in which I’ve censored myself, sacrificing bald truth at the altar of political correctness.  Even my most controversial posts have been censored to spare myself from the worst vitriol and vicious diatribe of those who might oppose my views yet, even censored, when I am about to hit that ‘publish’ button for a post I suspect will rain accusation from others upon my head, my heart pounds and my hands literally shake.  I read and then re-read my post countless times, looking for any statement or opinion that I might have forgotten to ‘PC’-up, anything that I think could be misinterpreted or misconstrued.  Why do I do this?  Because besides my own personal insecurity, people want to be offended.  We read blogs and articles looking for anything to pounce on, like vultures circling a field, searching endlessly for that whiff of carrion, that hint of wrong thinking that we can latch onto and launch an attack on the author about.  I say ‘we’ because I too, have been guilty of this, and often.

On more than one occasion I’ve read a post or an article and found the author’s attitude or opinion to be so offensive that I’ve felt justified Continue reading

Why You Should Care About Alzheimer’s

2 Feb

Alzheimer’s Disease.

We’ve all heard about it, some of us may remember a loved one who had the disease, and a few of us may be or have been caretakers for those loved ones.

It’s hard to think about Alzheimer’s, I get that.  It’s hard for the young to think about growing old, about dying, and even harder to think about being old with no idea who you and those around you are.  No one wants to think about it, but we must.

So why should you care about it? 

  • Alzheimer’s is the SIXTH leading cause of death in the U.S.  And there’s currently nothing we can do about it.

Continue reading

Some Things Never Change

31 Jan

Okay, so maybe some things don’t change.

I’m still about as reliable as rain when it comes to posting on this thing.  But also like the rain, I do eventually return!

That business I was talking about, it never got off the ground.  I thought I had done my homework, but I hadn’t, and the costs just kept piling on until I realized that at this point in my life, it just wasn’t feasible for me.

Oh, well.  Life goes on.

And it did. Continue reading

Technical Difficulty

3 Sep

So, my new business venture is off to a rockier start than I’d imagined.  There are always hiccups in the best laid plans, and I expected it to be so, but I always have such a difficult time staying motivated when I run into a snag with something.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m lazy, OCD, ADD, or impatient… regardless of what it is, I’m determined to stick with things this time.  If my business fails, it will fail because my products weren’t wanted, not because I didn’t see the venture through.

I don’t think I could handle giving up one one more thing.

Those of you who follow my blog have seen first-hand my tendency to wander.  I’m here for a few days, then I’m gone for ages, then I come back with an update and whatever my newest interest is, then I’m gone again.  It’s a very cyclical thing.

But this one I’m sticking with. Continue reading

Know Thy Heart, Know Thy Self

18 Jul

I think that when the ‘heart’ is mentioned, oftentimes it’s actually a reference to our ‘true self’.  When you let your heart guide you (excluding romantic passion… most people follow what they think is their hearts, only to find out later it was simply hormones) but in serious matters of life- family, what to do in a hard situation, what choice to make, etc. when people ‘follow their hearts’ they’re actually following the direction of their true selves, so to know your heart is to know your true self… and the true self is light and love.

 

This reflection was inspired by It’s All About The Love (And A Little Rumi).

Why Do I Do It?

18 Jul

Just a little bit ago I was walking into the kitchen to refill my tea glass when a snippet from a Tim McGraw song popped into my head:

“Please remember me”

Suddenly, it dawned on me why I continue to try my hand at things like art and writing.  I want to be remembered.

My life is nothing special.  I don’t have many friends, I don’t have a job, I don’t have children.  I have a fiancee and a cat.  The thought that if I died tomorrow there would be nothing left behind of ME on this Earth makes me immensely sad.  I want there to be something to show that I was here.

I’m not going to cure cancer, I’m not going to become a famous actress or singer, and it’s not looking like I’m going to become a famous artist, either, so what else is left to me to be remembered by other than my writing?  And if I’m going to be remembered by my writing, shouldn’t I actually WRITE something? Continue reading

Dear Me

16 Apr

Dear Me,

I wanted to start by saying thank you.  Thank you for trying to protect me all these years.  Thank you for building those walls when I wasn’t strong enough to face the world.  Thank you for studying people and watching them so closely, and alerting me every time they did something suspicious that was similar to other times I’d been hurt.  Thank you for tucking me deep down, away from all the pain and the hurt that the world can bring.  Thank you for everything.

But it’s time for me to come out now.  It’s time for me to face the world and feel the sun on my face.  I can’t stay locked inside anymore.  It’s time for me to stop hiding and start healing.  I can’t stay protected forever.  The walls we built have turned into a prison.  I need to be free, to get a few bumps and bruises, because that’s the only way I will grow.  I’m not saying I don’t need you anymore, because I do.  This is all very new to me, and I’ll need a safe place I can come to when I start getting overwhelmed.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the things you’ve done for me, but the things that once helped me are now hurting me.  It’s time for us to come up with a new way of dealing with the outside.  I’m willing to work with you on this, because you have been faithful and strong for me, but you must find it within you to start breaking down some of these walls.

You have been the truest friend I’ve ever had, but it’s time for us to let go of all of the old hurts and realize that hiding away isn’t going to stop the hurt from happening.  Life is going to hurt, but the walls mean there’s no one else around to make it better again.  We are no longer children, and we know that hiding our head beneath the covers only protects us from the monsters that live in the closet, not from the monsters that live in broad daylight.

We can be strong without being distant.  We can love without fear.  Living life waiting for the other shoe to drop hasn’t made us happy, so it’s time for a change.

I know it’s scary, but we can do it.

We have to do it.

It hurts too much not to.

Love,

Me

Jamaica Me Crazy!

5 Apr
Beef Teriyaki Stir Fry w/White Rice - 618 cal.

Beef Teriyaki Stir Fry w/White Rice – 618 cal.

So, my Love and I have decided to go to Jamaica for our first trip.  Passports are on the way!

We have approximately two months before we leave, and my Love has decided that he wants us to try to shed a few pounds between now and then.  Urg.

After much debate, I decided that I didn’t want to go on some diet where I couldn’t have something I wanted, so I decided that we’d just do the eat healthier thing and count calories in addition to working out.  We joined a gym yesterday, which we will go to on the days he doesn’t work.  On the days like today which he works, he walks a bajillion miles (okay, I may be exaggerating, slightly) and I will walk around the neighborhood.

I’ve been having a lot of trouble spreading my calories out through the day like I’m supposed to.  There’s this little voice in my head that keeps whispering ‘Don’t eat that now… it’s early, what if you’re hungry later and have already eaten up all your calories for the day?‘  It’s not that I have a problem with being hungry, I usually feel hungry several times a day when I’m counting calories, it’s just that I want the option to be there to be able to eat more if I am still hungry.  If I haven’t left enough of a ‘calorie-cushion’, I can’t do that.

Continue reading

Ode to Spring (and Art)

17 Mar
Example of my Springtime artwork. (Prints for sale! *wink*)

Example of my Springtime artwork. (Prints for sale! *wink*)

SPRING

I feel you near

the air fairly vibrates

with anticipation.

Mother’s raiments

wait impatiently to unfurl

in celebration.

White blankets fade

deferring to your preference

for emerald and pastels.

Old man weakens,

a kinder sovereign takes charge,

giving birth to change. Continue reading

Namaste – So Much More Than A Greeting

12 Mar
This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:An_Oberoi_Hotel_employee_doing_Namaste,_New_Delhi.jpg

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:An_Oberoi_Hotel_employee_doing_Namaste,_New_Delhi.jpg

I openly share my ignorance when I admit that up until very recently, I thought ‘Namaste’ was simply the Indian way to say ‘Hello’.  I was raised in a Christian household, and have had little to no exposure to other religions or cultures outside of what I’ve seen on television or perhaps clicked past on-line, and didn’t put forth much effort into remedying my ignorance.  To be completely open about it, I still don’t do much to proactively investigate other religions or cultures past their relation to something I’m thinking about or researching, but I do learn little tidbits here and there.

I recently learned that ‘Namaste’ and the pressed hand gesture/slight bow combination in Hinduism literally means ‘I bow to the divine in you’.  This wouldn’t have meant much to me a few weeks ago, but I’ve been watching a series of interviews on YouTube recently featuring Sister Shivani where she speaks often about the importance of remembering that everyone is a soul, and began pure and good.  I know not everyone even believes in the existence of a ‘soul’, but regardless of your beliefs, you can’t deny that we are all human, we were born innocent and pure, and are the way we are as a result of the things we have been taught or experienced in the time since we were born.

I could be totally off the mark since Hinduism isn’t my forte, but I imagine that the practice was created as a reminder to the person giving the greeting that everyone else carries a spark of the divine within them, and to treat them accordingly.  Even if I’m way off the mark, I think it’s a good concept.  Continue reading

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