Tag Archives: Anger

On Being Raised Racist

30 Sep

This post is possibly inflammatory, and was very difficult to write… please read the commenting guidelines before crafting a reply.  Thank you.

I was raised racist.

That’s a scary thing to admit in this day and age, when merely saying the word ‘racism’ is inviting an emotional firestorm down on your head.

A few days ago, my submission to ‘Project O’ was posted.  In the days leading up to its publication, I began to grow concerned.  I’d answered the questions as openly and honestly as I was able, including things I wasn’t necessarily proud of, namely the fact that I was raised to be a racist. Continue reading

Pity Party Inside (and free photo edit offer)

23 Aug
Angry Penguin

Angry Penguin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay, so, I wrote the following long, whiny, self-pitying post just because I can… but at the end, I came up with something to take my mind off of my ‘despair’ and that was to edit other people’s photos, because I find it to be fun to do.  My request to you is, if you have a picture of someone (yourself, your kid, whatever), I’d like to edit it for you.  I’ll edit them/it, and post a few on my blog with before/afters.  You might love it, or you might hate it, and either way is okay.  IF anyone decides to take me up on my offer, just let me know where to find the picture… I’m just going to go randomly copy people’s pictures and edit them, anyway, so why not get in on the action?  ^_^  (If you like it, you’re more than welcome to copy/keep/reuse it however you like… I’ve been considering offering this for a small fee at some point in the future, so if you’re curious what I can do, here’s your chance to get it for free)

*******

Some days I just get so angry.  I feel completely retarded (Note that I’m using this as a verb, not a noun.  Look it up.) by everything and nothing at all.  There’s so MANY things I want to do, see, experience, learn… but can’t.  Sometimes it’s because of money, sometimes it’s because of time, sometimes it’s because of other people, but some days it always seems that there is nothing I can do to make things better. 

I mean, I try.  I try very hard to do things to help, to improve my ‘lot in life’ so to speak, but nothing ever seems to work. 

Some days, the frustration just takes over, and I’m angry.  Impotently angry, but angry nonetheless.  I say impotently angry, because nothing I do as a result of my anger works, either.  Continue reading

Bruised But Not Broken – A Survivor’s Tale

18 Aug
child abuse

child abuse (Photo credit: Southworth Sailor)

I am a survivor.

Bruised and scarred, but not broken, even though there are moments in which I feel I am.  I have survived abuse, in one form or another, since I was seven years old.  One abuser is dead (and burning in Hell, if there is a just god), another is still alive, in my life, and loved very much, because I am old enough now to understand.  I don’t have to approve of a thing to understand the motivation behind it.  I have forgiven, and life has moved on to happier, healthier times, because they have found it in themselves to change.  Another abuser is still alive (I assume) but completely out of my life, and although I haven’t been able to completely forgive, I’ve shed most of my anger and feel mostly pity and sorrow.  I count that as a win, too.

I am here to tell anyone who will listen or who needs to hear, that there IS life after abuse.  No, the memories will never go away.  The nasty little voice in your head will never be completely silenced, but there is life, and it can be a very, very good life. Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: