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Is Your ‘Right’ A Wrong In Disguise?

3 Feb

I’ve written so many blog posts in which I’ve censored myself, sacrificing bald truth at the altar of political correctness.  Even my most controversial posts have been censored to spare myself from the worst vitriol and vicious diatribe of those who might oppose my views yet, even censored, when I am about to hit that ‘publish’ button for a post I suspect will rain accusation from others upon my head, my heart pounds and my hands literally shake.  I read and then re-read my post countless times, looking for any statement or opinion that I might have forgotten to ‘PC’-up, anything that I think could be misinterpreted or misconstrued.  Why do I do this?  Because besides my own personal insecurity, people want to be offended.  We read blogs and articles looking for anything to pounce on, like vultures circling a field, searching endlessly for that whiff of carrion, that hint of wrong thinking that we can latch onto and launch an attack on the author about.  I say ‘we’ because I too, have been guilty of this, and often.

On more than one occasion I’ve read a post or an article and found the author’s attitude or opinion to be so offensive that I’ve felt justified Continue reading

Why You Should Care About Alzheimer’s

2 Feb

Alzheimer’s Disease.

We’ve all heard about it, some of us may remember a loved one who had the disease, and a few of us may be or have been caretakers for those loved ones.

It’s hard to think about Alzheimer’s, I get that.  It’s hard for the young to think about growing old, about dying, and even harder to think about being old with no idea who you and those around you are.  No one wants to think about it, but we must.

So why should you care about it? 

  • Alzheimer’s is the SIXTH leading cause of death in the U.S.  And there’s currently nothing we can do about it.

Continue reading

Some Things Never Change

31 Jan

Okay, so maybe some things don’t change.

I’m still about as reliable as rain when it comes to posting on this thing.  But also like the rain, I do eventually return!

That business I was talking about, it never got off the ground.  I thought I had done my homework, but I hadn’t, and the costs just kept piling on until I realized that at this point in my life, it just wasn’t feasible for me.

Oh, well.  Life goes on.

And it did. Continue reading

Dear Me

16 Apr

Dear Me,

I wanted to start by saying thank you.  Thank you for trying to protect me all these years.  Thank you for building those walls when I wasn’t strong enough to face the world.  Thank you for studying people and watching them so closely, and alerting me every time they did something suspicious that was similar to other times I’d been hurt.  Thank you for tucking me deep down, away from all the pain and the hurt that the world can bring.  Thank you for everything.

But it’s time for me to come out now.  It’s time for me to face the world and feel the sun on my face.  I can’t stay locked inside anymore.  It’s time for me to stop hiding and start healing.  I can’t stay protected forever.  The walls we built have turned into a prison.  I need to be free, to get a few bumps and bruises, because that’s the only way I will grow.  I’m not saying I don’t need you anymore, because I do.  This is all very new to me, and I’ll need a safe place I can come to when I start getting overwhelmed.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the things you’ve done for me, but the things that once helped me are now hurting me.  It’s time for us to come up with a new way of dealing with the outside.  I’m willing to work with you on this, because you have been faithful and strong for me, but you must find it within you to start breaking down some of these walls.

You have been the truest friend I’ve ever had, but it’s time for us to let go of all of the old hurts and realize that hiding away isn’t going to stop the hurt from happening.  Life is going to hurt, but the walls mean there’s no one else around to make it better again.  We are no longer children, and we know that hiding our head beneath the covers only protects us from the monsters that live in the closet, not from the monsters that live in broad daylight.

We can be strong without being distant.  We can love without fear.  Living life waiting for the other shoe to drop hasn’t made us happy, so it’s time for a change.

I know it’s scary, but we can do it.

We have to do it.

It hurts too much not to.

Love,

Me

Don’t Let The Door Hit Ya…

1 Apr

**Alert** This post is nothing more than a frustrated rant.  I left out a lot, omitted much of the cursing I felt like doing, and didn’t mention the fact that I blame no one but ourselves for this situation.  Never EVER rely on friendship to keep housemate situations peaceful.  Always draw up a contract and get some sort of deposit when letting someone move in with you.  You will always end up regretting it if you don’t.

 

My Love and I have been together since October of 2011.  When we became a ‘couple’, his previous girlfriend still lived in his house, as she had nowhere else to go at the time.  There she remained until the 1st of October 2012.

We so enjoyed it when she moved out.  We finally had the place to ourselves.  No one to worry about coming in at ‘inconvenient’ times, or disturbing anyone else with our chaotic sleep schedule.  The place was finally OURS.

Except by Halloween 2012, it wasn’t.

Within weeks of ex-girlfriend moving out, old-high-school-buddy had contacted him and said he needed someplace to stay for a while.  He was having trouble in his marriage, and he needed to get out and get his head straight, try to fix the problems, etc. etc. I’ll call him ‘Andy’.  So, because Andy (technically his mother, since Andy was still just a kid) had let my Love live with him for about 6 months when they were in school together and my Love had left home, my Love felt that he owed it to him to help him out.

I met ‘Andy’ the day he began moving his stuff into our house. Continue reading

Namaste – So Much More Than A Greeting

12 Mar
This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:An_Oberoi_Hotel_employee_doing_Namaste,_New_Delhi.jpg

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:An_Oberoi_Hotel_employee_doing_Namaste,_New_Delhi.jpg

I openly share my ignorance when I admit that up until very recently, I thought ‘Namaste’ was simply the Indian way to say ‘Hello’.  I was raised in a Christian household, and have had little to no exposure to other religions or cultures outside of what I’ve seen on television or perhaps clicked past on-line, and didn’t put forth much effort into remedying my ignorance.  To be completely open about it, I still don’t do much to proactively investigate other religions or cultures past their relation to something I’m thinking about or researching, but I do learn little tidbits here and there.

I recently learned that ‘Namaste’ and the pressed hand gesture/slight bow combination in Hinduism literally means ‘I bow to the divine in you’.  This wouldn’t have meant much to me a few weeks ago, but I’ve been watching a series of interviews on YouTube recently featuring Sister Shivani where she speaks often about the importance of remembering that everyone is a soul, and began pure and good.  I know not everyone even believes in the existence of a ‘soul’, but regardless of your beliefs, you can’t deny that we are all human, we were born innocent and pure, and are the way we are as a result of the things we have been taught or experienced in the time since we were born.

I could be totally off the mark since Hinduism isn’t my forte, but I imagine that the practice was created as a reminder to the person giving the greeting that everyone else carries a spark of the divine within them, and to treat them accordingly.  Even if I’m way off the mark, I think it’s a good concept.  Continue reading

Does The Clock Control Your Compassion?

12 Mar

ClockIf you’ve followed me for a while, or paged through my posts, you may or may not have noticed the fact that I almost never reblog posts from other people’s pages (I believe I may have reblogged one post out of nearly 100).  Part of this is because I strongly feel that my blog should consist of my own work, not just be a showcase for other people’s writing.  Another reason is that if a post has enough of an impact on me that I consider reblogging it, then I usually have plenty of commentary about it.  My preferred method of sharing the work of others that provokes a response from me is by writing about it, and linking to it.  I ran across one such post today on a blog I greatly enjoy reading, Cauldrons and Cupcakes, entitled Lessons on Waiting and Being Delayed.

Often, we get so caught up in our daily lives and to-do lists that we forget that other people are more than just obstacles we must navigate around.  We have become numb to the pain and suffering of our fellow man, and our ability to empathize has atrophied to the point that it is only engaged by those who occupy our immediate circle of friends and family, and those rare moments when we’re unable to turn our heads from the abject suffering on our television screens. Continue reading

Inspiring Teen Refuses To Let Her Dreams Go Up In Smoke

11 Mar
Joy Graves, in her firefighting gear.

Joy Graves, in her firefighting gear.

The girl beneath the helmet...

The girl beneath the helmet…

When you ask most young girls what they want to be when they grow up, you might expect to hear things like “An actress”, “A Veterinarian”, maybe even “The President”.  If you ask Joy Graves, a 19-year-old from a small, rural county outside Williamsburg, Virginia what she wants to be when she grows up, you just might be surprised when you hear the answer.

At 5’2″, her petite frame appears more suited to pom poms than a fire hose, but the young Ms. Graves is a testament to the old adage ‘Never judge a book by its cover’, because her dream is to become Continue reading

Great Expectations -or- Your Secret Fantasies Revealed

9 Mar
Are they?

Is it?

Today I ran across this ‘meme’, and it applies to some things I’ve been contemplating lately.  I saved it and was about to post it to my Facebook page, when I had to pause and rethink its message. Are expectations really the root of all heartache?  After a few moments of serious thought, I had to conclude that although the sentiment seems sound on the surface, it is incorrect.  I don’t believe that expectations are the problem.

I believe it is important for us to hold expectations; of ourselves as well as those around us.  It’s been proven that higher expectations net higher results than low or no expectations.  When expectations come as a representation of faith in the potential of people or situations, I believe they are an entirely positive thing.  The problems begin to arise when we allow ourselves to forget that the expectations we hold are nothing more than fantasies we have woven about the future, in order to predict what will make us happy. Continue reading

The Wrong Way To Get Rights

4 Mar

Disclaimer: This is somewhat of a ‘stream of consciousness’ post.  I haven’t weighed every sentence to make sure it’s ‘PC’.  I jump from point to point.  If you feel like my comments are offensive, I’m sorry you took them that way, because that’s not my intent, but remember that offense is subjective, so before you just assume I’m an ass, remember we most likely come from entirely different perspectives – any offense is based in ignorance, not intent.  You are welcome to post opposing views or share with me why you feel something I intended as a positive was actually a negative -I’m very open-minded- but rudeness will not be tolerated.

When I first watched this video, I was irritated.  I had many thoughts similar to several of the objections in the comments [of the video].  I WASN’T LISTENING.  I was too busy reacting to listen and GET the point.  I was so busy focusing on what she was doing that I didn’t think was right, I was unable to hear the message.  Which was her first message.  If you’re thinking of how YOU feel about what someone is saying or doing, or how you want to respond, YOU ARE NOT LISTENING, and if you can’t at least listen, you’ll never get it enough to make a change, in yourself or anyone else.

The blonde with the eyebrow ring wasn’t listening either, because she was so busy thinking about how her suffering was being ‘belittled’.  She missed the point that if you can reach a place where you are able to wrap your head around THIS issue (racism), applying it to every other area where discrimination occurs (not only racism, because that is only one small drop in the ocean of discrimination that humanity pours out on one another) will come naturally, of its own accord.

The video did not show whether the teacher made a point to ALL of the students that the color of skin is only one discrimination.  Sexual orientation, religion, gender, age, nationality, even political leanings, ANY time that you judge a person on any basis other than who they are, instead of what they are, you are no different than the ‘racists’ the teacher refers to here.  If any of those students, whether they wore a green collar or not, walked out of that room without the understanding that the exercise was so much larger than ‘understanding what it’s like not to be white’, then they missed the scope of the exercise.

I honestly don’t think anyone got the true point of that exercise, because not ONE student in the ‘brown eyed section’ stood up and asked the teacher to stop.  Not one person in the ‘brown eyed section’ took a stand when the girl that walked out was visibly upset.  Continue reading

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